.png)
Why I Hated Parent-Teacher Conferences as a Child?
For me, elementary school was a living nightmare.
Aside from being held back in third grade, my first parent-teacher conference of fifth grade was one of my most traumatic memories.
Throughout elementary school, I struggled with reading, so my grades were either average or below average. As a result, parent-teacher conferences were never one of my favorite events. However, my first 5th grade parent-teacher conference left an unshakable haunting memory on me.
The conversation during that meeting went something like this:
Teacher- “Ms. Bundy, your daughter is very respectful and kind, but I am very concerned about her academics.”
My Mom- “Yes, I know, she works hard, and I am doing my best to try and help her.”
Teacher- “My concerns are stronger than usual. I think your daughter may have dyslexia.”
My Mom- “Really? Why do you say that?”
Teacher- “Well, she has a challenging time with reading.”
My Mom- “Well, she has always struggled in reading and she doesn’t enjoy it.”
Teacher- “You should get her evaluated. In the meantime, here is a phonics book she can use to practice with at home.”
My Mom- “Ok.”
Teacher- “Don’t worry, dyslexia isn’t bad, Bill Cosby’s son is dyslexic.”
That was my first encounter with the term dyslexia. I had no idea what it was, but hearing it at my parent-teacher conference made me feel as if I had an incurable illness.
I'm sure my fifth-grade teacher had good intentions when she shared this information with my mother, but she never gave me an evaluation that would provide concrete evidence to share at the conference, proving that I needed a professional evaluation. She only knew I was in fifth grade and still struggled to read well.
She also shared this information with my mother, a single parent who worked long hours and always believed that the teacher was the professional and thus the sole dispenser of knowledge.
Later that day, I learned from my mother that when she was a child, one of her elementary school teachers told her mother the same thing, and my mother never received any support. So, that night, my mother went to the 99 cent store and bought me some basic phonic books, which I used for a week and that was that.
What Does a Successful Parent-Teacher Conference Look Like?
I knew I wasn't dyslexic, but hearing that label from my teacher and seeing my mother accept it without hesitation made me feel like I'd never be a good reader.
When I became a teacher, I realized that I was never dyslexic; I simply struggled with sight words and reading fluency, so I was a slow, choppy reader who sounded out everything. All I needed was more practice and more time.
Unfortunately, this inescapable memory always makes me wonder how that parent-teacher conference might have gone differently if:
1) I had a mother who knew how to advocate for me at parent-teacher conferences.
2) I had a teacher who took the time to work with me one-on-one to assess my needs and provide me with the specific skills I needed to improve.
As a teacher and tutor, I am constantly approached by parents who are concerned that their child is not progressing academically.
They believe they have exhausted all options, including having their child tested, using academic apps on their child's tablet, speaking with their child's teacher, obtaining additional support from the school, and finally attempting to help their child themselves.
Despite all of their efforts, their child continues to struggle academically and lacks confidence in themselves and their abilities. As a result, they hate school and everything associated with it.
It can be extremely frustrating to strive for improvement and never see any results. This is why I enjoy not only tutoring struggling readers, but also working with parents to help them effectively communicate their needs to teachers.
What Should You Talk to the Teacher About?
Progress
Find out how your child is doing by asking questions like:
Is my child performing at grade level?
How is he or she doing compared to the rest of the class?
What do you see as his or her strengths?
How could he or she improve?
Assignments and Assessments
Ask to see examples of your child’s work.
Ask how the teacher gives grades.
Your Thoughts About Your Child
Share your thoughts and feelings about your child.
Tell the teacher what you think your child is good at.
Explain what he or she needs more help with.
Support for Learning at Home
Ask what you can do at home to help your child learn.
Ask if the teacher knows of programs or services in the community that could also help your child.
Support for Learning at School
Find out what services are available at the school to help your child.
Ask how the teacher will challenge your child and support your child when needed.
If you’re working with the school to implement greater reading practice at home, but you’re still dissatisfied with your results, you may want to consider hiring a private tutor to focus on your child’s specific learning gaps and challenges.
Contact me to set up a FREE consultation and assessment.
Comments